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Another grand idea

Remember how I wanted (want) to use a grand piano as a dining room table? It turns out that I may not be the only crazy one. It might not be a dining room table, but it's cool none-the-less. Check it out:

The Voca People

A Presidential Day

Drew has shown great interest in his government class this semester. Kudos to his teacher who has succeeded engaging the nerd in current events and getting him excited about politics. Big, honking kudos! (This from the mother with a political science degree and a former job in the governor's office. Big, honking kudos indeed!)

So when the opportunity to see President Obama presented itself I knew my nerd would be excited to go even if it meant missing his favorite government class. We had 24 hours notice so Drew was able to clear it by Mr. Kudos-Carrying-Teacher who gave him the requisite fist bump and said something like "awesome," or another teenager approved phrase, before giving him instructions that he would need to brief the class on the experience upon his return. And with this endorsement and a healthy dose of excitement we set off to see the President yesterday morning.

We arrived at the University of Maryland around 7am and started walking to find the end of the line. And walking. And walking. And walking. At the end of the line we started taking pictures. Here is Drew's idea of passing the time in line:

Yep. Nose in a book. That's my boy! But within 90 minutes, roughly 8:45am, they had opened the doors and were starting to get people in the arena. We were almost there!

(Notice the jackets in mid-September? It was drizzling and a chilly 65 degrees. Umbrellas were not permitted in the arena so we dug out the raincoats and made the best of the weather.)

Here we are after getting through security and finding a seat:

From our seats on the front row of the upper deck we could clearly see the stage, the crowd, the press, and all the goings on in the arena. Drew was psyched! And notice the absence of things like headsets, clipboards, multiple cell phones and stress surrounding me? This is the first Presidential event at Maryland that I attended as a regular Joe Shmoe and not as the coordinator behind the scenes. It was nice being able to share the event with Drew for a change. Now if I could only get the red eye reduction feature to work on the camera! Hrumpf.

Red eyes or not, we had a great time. President Obama appeared on stage at 11:35am -- are you doing the math yet? we arrived at 7am in order to see the President at 11:35am, which means 4 and a half hours of waiting ... looooooong morning! -- and Drew declared the wait "so worth it." He was quite enthralled by the activity in the arena, the excitement in the crowd, and the fact that he was getting to see POTUS in person. The speech itself was good, dynamic, and full of audience participation whether or not it was planned. One dude was escorted out of the arena after shouting things at the President and another woman received an "I love you too" after loudly professing her love of the dude in the white shirt and red tie seen here at the podium:

What's that? Can't see him very well? Ah. Then check out these photos taken by people other than us. And here is the entire speech in case you haven't heard it before.

The speech ended at 12:15pm and we had a lovely chat with our seat neighbors. The guy was funny. He is a computer science major at Maryland and had a wickedly wry sense of humor. At one point the crowd was chanting "U.S.A." like we were at the Olympics or something. He looked up from his textbook and said, "Oh good. I was beginning to wonder where we were." (Oh crud. It loses something in translation. It was really funny at the time. Or maybe I was just bored and anything sounded funny right about then.) And on our way out of the seating bowl we joined the crowd at the windows to watch the motorcade depart:

Ta da! Drew got to see the gamut of Presidential movement yesterday. From crowd control, long lines, hecklers, security, the guy who puts the seal on the podium, the introduction of the state delegation, the speech itself, the crush of the press pool, enough flash bulbs to feel like you're at a concert, and then the motorcade. What a day. He left for school this morning still on Cloud 9 and

hoping to see his super cool Mr. Kudos-Carrying-Teacher to let him know all about the day. That's my boy!

Happy Birthday, Drew!

Happy birthday to my favorite 15-year-old! The Day was full of surprises from start to finish: frappuccino's in the fridge, chalk art in the driveway, presents when he got home from school, dinner at an amazing Turkish restaurant in Baltimore with a hefty side dish of reminiscing about last summer's trip to Turkey, more presents, a surprise birthday flight (with Drew as the PILOT, I might add), more presents and yet more presents. It was quite the day!

Miss me?

Dear Blog,

It has been a few weeks since I last visited. I am so sorry. Does it help to say I missed you? Would you believe it if I wrote it? I missed you. (There. Believe it? Hmmm. Oh. Me, either. It's a pile o' phooey.) I am sorry if you thought I had another blog on the side. That could not be further from the truth. Life has just gotten in the way. Honestly. There's no other blog but you. It's Life's fault.

Take, for instance, television. Top Chef and Project Runway are back on. We have been watching the DVR'd episodes of Gene Simmons Family Jewels and howling with laughter. Then there is HGTV and all the home improvement ideas that erupt like a volcano after all the hours glued to that channel. After all, it was HGTV that spurred the final sanding-staining-sanding-restaining-painting of the dining room table in August. (It looks great, by the way.)

Then there was the back-to-school madness. Drew started his sophomore year in high school last week. (Sophomore? Really? 10th grade? Already? I'm suddenly feeling older.) Of course he had a growth spurt near the end of summer and needed new pants, shorts and shirts to be able to go to school. It takes time to shop, my friend! New glasses. Oh, and new sneakers too. Although saying "sneakers" is probably going to get me in trouble with the mod police. What is the correct term these days? Or is one just supposed to quote the brand and assume everyone will know it's really sneakers?

Chauffeur duty. Dinner with friends. The myriad of appointments and meetings ... Oh, who am I kidding? Excuses. Excuses. Excuses! Let's just chalk it all up to a mini bloggercation, shall we? A bloggercation with no photos to show for it. No sand in the shoes. No lost luggage. No frequent flier miles. No extra $$ out of the bank account. I can't tell you what I did in all that time, but I must have done something. It's all good. But the best part -- and I mean the absolute bestest part -- I'm BAAAAACK!!!!

Miss me?

If I only had a piano

A grand idea

I've been on a piano kick lately. So much so that when the dining room table refinishing job went south last week I hatched a plan to replace said table with a baby grand piano. You read that right -- use a baby grand piano as a table. After all, the DR table is used as a perching post for sundry papers and the occasional homework session, not so much for dinners. So why not just replace it with a lovely baby grand? Put the top down, throw on an artfully arranged table cloth and pull up a stool if one really does need a table. Voila! Talk about a multi-tasking piece of furniture. Not to mention an uber conversation piece and built-in piano bar. I think this could really work!

It might not surprise you that my baby grand-turned-table idea has been met with raised eyebrows and a few quizzical looks. (Or both.) But I couldn't imagine I was the only one who had ever thought of this, so I let my fingers do some googling. Guess what? THIS is what. It's the next best thing to having a real baby grand as a dining room table. It does come in black but it doesn't have Steinway or another storied brand printed on the side. For the price though, I could buy the grand and the chairs and the table cloth and some sheet music and hire a caterer for a dinner party and pay for a professional pianist to provide the music. Yowser.

It is time to pick up some more sand paper and paint and give the dining room table another go. You can bet I will be listening to piano music the whole time.

Christmas in July

I found this musician while browsing on iTunes and just had to share. Jon Schmidt is a classical pianist, composer and new age recording artist. His music ranges from simple and elegant, to bold and brilliant. What an amazing talent!

But wait. It gets better. Go to Jon Schmidt's website and you can listen to full length songs, playlists, even download sheet music for free. Yes, FREE! It's like Christmas in July! And you know how much I adore Christmas! *serious squealage*

My new house

Just so you know, the 2010 HGTV Dream Home will be mine. You won't need to enter. You won't need to pay attention to all the emails they send. You won't need to give anyone your email address or phone number. You won't get carpel tunnel in your hands from typing multiple daily entries. I'm going to make it soooo easy for you this year and save you tons of time because I AM GOING TO WIN IT! (Heck, Oprah says I have to delcare something and then it will come true. Speak it to the universe and all that. So I'm speaking, Universe! Hear me? That's right, I'm declaring that I will win the 2010 HGTV Dream House. De. Clar. Ing.)

And so you, my favorite reader, will know what kind of house I'll be living in come April 2010, and just in case you want to come visit, here is the rendering. If you get tired of staring at the mountains and breathtaking Santa Fe setting click "next" near the bottom of the page and you'll see the floorplan. Stunning. Spacious. Drool worthy. It's gorgeous. I'm planning the move. Swoon.

If there was ever any doubt ...

Are these two related or what?!?!

Scout Camp v. 2009

Last year during scout camp I was the lucky recipient of a phone call with news of a tangle between thumb and pocket knife. (In case you had any doubt, pocket knife won.) This year during scout camp I was the lucky recipient of the following:

So far I much prefer the upgraded model. :-)

July 4th

Yet more fun, frivolity and fireworks!

One adventurous birthday

July 3, while a fabulous day to make a grand appearance in this world, is sometimes a complex day to celebrate a birthday. But not this year! July 3, 2009 was a truly wonderful birthday. It started with my first non-commercial flight (you read that right -- flying!) over the Eastern Shore with a stop in Georgetown, Delaware for breakfast. After eggs benedict and a few photos, we started on the 45-minute flight home, crossing the Chesapeake Bay and back over Annapolis, avoiding the MPT tower, and landing back at home. It was quite an adventure for the Vertigo Girl!



The next few birthday hours were low key, napping and gabbing with friends both on line and on the phone, then off to G&M for crabcakes with the family. (G&M is a local institution with The Best crabcakes in the state, hands down. They even offer shipping so be sure to check 'em out!) After dinner it was a quick wardrobe change and then we met up with friends at the community fireworks display. It was the perfect capstone to a celebratory day.

So from flying to fireworks, friends and family, with facebook in between, it was a GREAT day! Thanks to everyone who made it such a special, fun and adventurous celebration. Here's to 41!

From theme song to soundtrack

The theme song discussion from earlier this week prompted lots of office discussion. What's your theme song? Do you have different songs for different days? Can one song really define a person? Do you agree with another person's assessment of their theme song? Is a person's song choice rooted in their high school years or does it define them now? The discussion was too lengthy to post here but we did come up with some theme songs for a few co-workers. (Ride of the Valkyries to describe a particularly fierce individual; Jai Ho for another.) It was also agreed that a soundtrack is more appropriate than one song to describe a person. A soundtrack encompasses the emotion of different days, different moods, different times and themes in a person's life. Plus ... after all, doesn't everyone deserve their very own soundtrack?!

So there it is. Take a look at my iPod and you'll now see "Jess' Soundtrack" right there with all the other playlists. Woo hoo! It has lots of songs (lots!) and I'm starting to whittle them down to a respectable, oh, 20 to 25. Here are a few snippets compliments of LaLa:

You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet - B...

Summon the Heroes (Radio Edit)...

Best Years Of Our Lives - Baha...

Celebration - Kool & The Gang

Playin' With My Friends - Tony...

'Til I See You Again - Jim Bri...

Walkin' On Sunshine (Re-Record...

7/20/09 UPDATE: click on a song and it will take you to LaLa where you can listen to it for free.

Theme song

Have you ever thought about your personal theme song? If someone made a sitcom or a variety show of your life, what song would be used to introduce the show? Better yet, pretend you are a public speaker or an athlete and a song is played every time you are introduced. What would that song be? (I'm told baseball players have personal theme songs that are played when they step up to bat. This information is strictly second-hand, though. Baseball is probably my least favorite sport -- oops. That's not right. Boxing is my least favorite. So that makes baseball second least favorite. Let's start that sentence over again, shall we? Ready? ... Baseball is one of my least favorite sports (ta da!) so don't expect to see me at the Yards doing reconaissance any time soon. To avoid a trip to the ball park I will gladly accept second-hand knowledge of this phenomenon. Hint.)

In an effort to identify such a tune I have spent an inordinate amount of time this morning browsing through the iTunes library looking for a my personal theme song. I've searched classical and classic rock, jazz and new age, pop and country, folk, vocal, even holiday, and so far nothing is jumping up and down saying "Ooo! Pick me! Pick me!" But here are some early front runners:

You Ain't Seen Nothin Yet - Bachman-Turner Overdrive
Celebration - Kool & the Gang
Until I See You Again - Jim Brickman
Santorini - Yanni (the live version because you've gotta have applause at the end!)
Still Believing - Mary Black
Summon the Heroes - John Williams (it's my cell phone ring, after all)
If I Had a Million Dollars - I'd be rich!
It's a Miracle - Barry Manilow (Ugh. But oh-so-groovy!)
Theme from Mission Impossible
Best Years of Our Lives - from Shrek
Playin' with My Friends - Tony Bennett

and Mel C. suggested Walkin' On Sunshine. Aww! That was sweet. (She got Too Marvelous For Words in return.)

Are you seeing the same common denominator with all those tunes? Catchy beat and fun? (Well, the Jim Brickman borders on sentimental and not as fun, but it's still light and has a steady beat. Kinda.) Any other ideas for Jess' theme song? I'll keep digging over here and will post updates. I'll also try to find links to these songs so you can hear them for yourself. In the meantime, think about your own personal theme song and let me know what it is.

Tonight the super Trouper lights are gonna blind me ... but I won't feel blue, 'cause somewhere in the crowd there's YOU!

One ear, or two?

The following is an actual conversation. The names have not been changed to protect the ones who think they are innocent but really aren't.

ME: Yo. The ears are small. Do you want one ear or two?

TURKEY: Huh?

ME: One ear or two?

TURKEY: What?

ME: (demonstrating) Ears! One ear, or two?!



He took two.

An open letter

Dear AARP:

Yesterday I reached the milestone age of 77. I played bowling, baseball and boxing while talking on the phone and making dinner AND giving my kid instructions. It was a whirlwind 10 minutes. But apparently the Wii doesn't take multi tasking in to account so my Mii is now 77. That's right -- my electronic age is seventy seven years old. 77! (It's really not so bad. After all, I still LOOK 40.)

I would like to apply for AARP membership based on my Wii age. I mean, my kid already asks what the dinosaurs were like so why not get the full benefits, right? That AARP card will score me discounts galore! And hello to the "55 or better" communitites! Ooo, there's social security and pensions too! Your website also mentions advocacy and I need all the help I can get. Yes indeedy. Sign me up!

I await your response with the Wii-mote safely put away and promise not to try to improve my electronic age. Pinky swear.

Your Wii-challenged new member,
Jess

Memorial Day 2009

Photos by Alexis Hernandez.

Pink and the turkey

Yes, the kid is really THAT tall! This candid was taken by a friend who was in town for the weekend. It was a laughter-filled few days. Thanks for the fun and the photo, Alexis!

Mr. February in May

Turkey-lurkey was honored as Student of the Month this week. Woo hoo! It was actually a delayed award - turns out he was Mr. February but there was a backlog at the school so the awards ceremony didn't happen until May. No matter. He's still Mr. February and has the certificates, coupons and Chick-Fil-A freebies to show for it. Here he is with his "congratulate me for being Student of the Month" magnet:



Wait. That gray t-shirt does not compute with his normal red, white or black. Huh? Funny you should notice. That is actually his school-issued gym uniform. See, I arrived at school for the ceremony and chatted with other kids, parents and the administrators and teachers gathered in the cafeteria. The ceremony was beginning so we found seats. Still no Drew. I raised my hand (it was school, after all) and asked if someone could get Drew from class because he obviously forgot about being Student of the Month. That's right -- he FORGOT about receiving an award! There was a stifled laugh from the assembled group and Mr. Teacher left to find Drew after giving me dirty looks for not knowing his schedule.

When he finally arrived we all knew he had been pulled out of gym class. Sweaty and sporting his stinky, school-issued uniform, Drew appeared with a sheepish grin and a wave. Did I say the uniform was stinky? Yep. S-T-I-N-K-Y! Pee-yew! At least the clothing was not a prerequisite for receiving his award and it didn't seem to phase his friends, either. Here is Mr. February with Mr. March:


(I sense a Nerds of NCHS calendar in the offing. No?)

Mr. March has agreed to tease Drew mercilessly on being so forgetful and then receiving his award in his gym uniform. Being the impish parent that I am, there will be lots of teasing here, too. Lots!

Congratulations on being Mr. February, Drew!

Number 36

There's a blog I read on a daily basis by author Deanna Raybourn. I got hooked on her books last year and then found the blog. It's just so cool. Her style is warm and personal, lyrical even, peppered with erudite words but never stuffy. And gosh, it appears that she writes effortlessly. (Hmm. Maybe that's why she's paid to write. Do ya' think?) But the coolest part is that she posts nearly every day. Yeppers, 6 days a week! A blog entry every so often is hard enough, daily is a miracle. I'm officially in awe.

Some months ago, DR posted a simple link to another blog that caught my eye. That link was downloaded and has since found a nice home on my desktop. I visit every so often along with a bottle of wine. (OK. Maybe not wine during the day. More like a mango melon Lifewater. Yum.) This particular link-turned-downloaded-pdf is a creative manifesto, a check list of how to infuse one's life/business/activities with creativity. Check it out here.

Now, I consider myself a fairly creative person but sometimes one just needs a boost. Right? Like yesterday when I found myself staring at this blog in a quandary on what to post next. Nothing seemed relevant; nothing seemed to resonate. Until ... cue the William Tell Overture ... creative manifesto to the rescue! Much more than a simple booster seat for creativity, this is a handbook for desk jockeys and computer geeks alike, a guidebook for recent graduates trying to find their way in the work place, a compass for entrepreneurs, and a reminder that coloring with crayons is sometimes the best medicine. For me, it reinforced the path to #36.

Oh, and it will be available in bookstores everywhere this summer. Read on, turkeys!

Happy Bloggiversary!

It was one year ago today that the pink turkey made its debut. Although then it was known as A Turkey Dinner and sported a slightly different look, the blog is wholy in tact and still active one year later. All is well in bloggerville! Thanks for reading and being a part of this virtual slice of our lives. Virtual cake for everyone!

The Pollenator

Think this is your standard leaf blower? Think again! To pink turkeys everywhere I happily present ... drum roll please ... The Pollenator! Yes indeedy. This beast was spotted in the neighborhood blowing not leaves, nope, but pollen. Pollen, people!

At first I was dumbfounded. After all, why would someone take a blower to their car of all things? But when the clouds of yellow-orange dust leaped from said car to the greener pastures of the yard it all became clear. A-ha! (Energy efficient light bulb clicks on now.) No need to waste water by washing the car daily when one can start up the leaf blower and blow the offending pollen to someone else's yard! BRILLIANT! Now why didn't I think of that?

Nerdvana

Botball = student designed autonomous robots that maneuver on a game board, picking up balls, going over speed bumps and managing turns before depositing the ball and scoring points. Oh, in a tournament format. It sounds like Nerd Nirvana. Of course that's where the Turkey was all day on Saturday -- the regional Botball Tournament. Total Nerdvana! (nerd + nirvana = nerdvana. But you got that already, right?)

The Turkey and his team of 4 other freshmen spent the past 7 weeks building and programming their robot for Saturday's tournament. They placed #14 out of 142. Not bad for their first tournament! No prizes for the boys but they did get team t-shirts, participation t-shirts, and pizza. Oh, and an entire day in Nerdvana.

Cascarones

It's that time of year again. Last night we finished dyeing the 3 dozen cascarones for this year's Easter/fiesta fun. For the uninitiated, cascasrones are decorated, confetti filled eggs that magically (cough!) get broken over the head of a friend or loved one. The tradition says the breaking of the egg brings good luck to the confetti-covered recipient, but frankly, luck or not, they are just plain fun! And I do mean serious F-U-N!

We started enjoying cascarones in San Antonio where they are an integral part of Fiesta. Now that we're not living in San Antonio I make them myself. Friends and co-workers (and the housekeeping staff -- sorry!) have since been introduced to the wonders of these confetti creations. Said friends and co-workers will either be excited or head for the hills when they hear another 3 dozen cascarones have made it in to the world. Those hiding in the hills just don't appreciate the fine art of confetti in the hair and on the floor and in the desk and on the furniture and in the pockets and in the coffee mug and in the ... which reminds me ... it's always better to break the cascarones outside. Hear that, kids? OUTSIDE.

Mid dye process, the turkey-lurkey started goofing around with the eggs. (Like that's a surprise.)

What's funny is that his t-shirt says "I'm not dead yet." Really? I couldn't tell. (raised eyebrow) He was obviously fine enough to take the camera and command a similar pose from yours truly:


Check out those fingers/nails coated in egg dye. Oooo, manicure here I come!

Ah, spring!

Foolin' around

Today is April Fool's Day. Since I have a penchant for fooling around 364 days of the year, I tend to leave today alone. If nothing else, it is the one single day people can accuse me of something and the reply can be a very honest "nope, not me!" And today was definitely a "nope, not me" kind of day! Here for your enjoyment are the April 1, 2009 office shenanigans.

Arrivals were greeted by friendly crime scene tape and a notice from the "police" (did Sting put the band back together?):

Getting past the crime scene tape and venturing down the hall and you'll see that KDW's office was stripped:

No chairs, no pictures, no work, no nothing. (K - you should have left when you had the chance!) And what culprit would even THINK of leaving behind the stunningly gorgeous (cough!) faux wood-with-metal-and-plastic turned stylish-but-eerily-80's office furniture? A serious head scratching moment.

But lest you get comfortable and think the April foolin' was done, peek in to the next office. Yes, blog fans, it is the inevitable body outline:

This is what happens when you displease the boss. We don't know if the victim had the audacity to ask for a raise or if she mentioned the kids were looking like they needed a shave and their teeth filed, but word has it the poor soul trekked to the cafeteria to get coffee after being offed. Um. Wait. Was there something about kids needing a shave and teeth filed?

Yep. Kid pics were replaced with zoo animals. Pen caddies were replaced with dog food cans.

Again, let me reiterate that this was definitely a "nope, not me" kind of day. I proudly proclaim my innocence in the foolin'. Although employed last-minute as the photographer, I had no knowledge the shenanigans were goin' down, nor did I have a hand in staging any of the pranks. Like all good modern day pranksters, however, the actual culprits posed for a photo in front of their handiwork:

BUSTED! (But how nice of ya'll to be so color coordinated for your mug shots. That was uber thoughtful.)

Need to buy books

It's true. I worked a few hours last Saturday. The quiet and uninterrupted time in the office was glorious. Sheer heaven. It almost didn't happen, though. Those moments of glorious heavenly bliss were almost derailed by a ... wait! ... seriously ... friends don't let friends spoil endings. So here's the story, morning glory:

It was Saturday. I drove the 18.76 miles to work. Found great parking (it was a Saturday after all). Walked in to the building with nary a problem. Fished my ID out of the wallet so I could access the office suite. Swiped the card in the magic card reader. Nothing. Swiped the card again. Nothing. Checked to make sure it was turned the right way and swiped the card AGAIN. Still nothing. About now the brain started swimming with possibilities: Was I fired and didn't know it yet? Had the ID card gotten too close to my cell phone again? Did they change the after hours admit policy and I missed the email? Why did I just spend the time in the car, not to mention wear and tear on the tires, on a gorgeously sunny day just to be thwarted? Oh, why?!

So I uttered a choice word and swiped again. Still nothing. CRUD! (That's not the word I uttered, by the way.) I look at the card one more time to make sure it's going the right way in the magic card reader thing-a-ma-jig and discover that the card is -- you're gonna love this -- a Barnes and Noble gift card! Apparently the office does not accept B&N cards as legal tender. Who knew?! (Ha!) So I went back to the wallet, exchanged the B&N card for the real ID, swiped it, and was greeted by the green light and the ding-you've-got-5-seconds-to-open-the-door-now ding. Ah. Success. Followed by a giggle fest and a few hours of uninterrupted heavenly bliss in the office.

The moral of the story: get the gift card out of the wallet by buying more books!

Part of the madness

My brackets are busted. The home team Terrapins are out as of yesterday. Far from sad, we cashed in a golden ticket (two, to be exact) and headed to College Park for more basketball. Today was the Lady Terps' time to shine. And shine they did! It was great to be off the couch and part of the cheering March Madness crowd.



(Remind me to turn the red eye reduction feature back on next time. Please.)

How now, brown brow?

Running errands today I saw this sign:

EYE BROWN WAX $10

Huh? Do they use brown wax? Wax the eyes? What happened to the brows? What about blondes? Did it get changed to green wax for St. Patrick's Day? One sign, so many questions.

Fence cupping - The results show

"WOW!"
"This is the best birthday present EVER!"

These are just two of the effusive exclamations expressed by the birthday boy this morning when he saw the fence cupped birthday message. Birthday boy was literally jumping for joy in the back seat. And considering we were in a compact car, that's a feat! The previous night's fence cupping escapade was a HUGE success. Yay!

After the big reveal, the boys discussed starting a fence cupping business. Say, $10 gets a message on the fence up to a certain number of letters, extra letters are extra $$$. Just for peeps at their high school, natch. Oh, and with more environmentally friendly cups. I just hope fence cupping is not considered graffiti or defacement of public property or any other such fineable offense. If so, that would make me a contributor to the delinquency of minors. Ruh roh.

Fence cupping

Fence cupping = the practice of using styrofoam cups to spell out a message in a chain link fence; commonly seen at Turkey minor's high school


In honor of carpooler Kris's 15th birthday, the rest of the morning carpool crew trekked to the school tonight to fence cup. Cups, transportation and photography were provided by yours truly. The boys are really proud of the end result.

Snorg shopping

Turkey Minor has discovered pop culture t-shirts. I'm so delighted that he is making a fashion statement other than red shirts and white shirts. Finally! It is becoming quite a statement, too. In the course of the week he's worn the following t-shirt sentiments:
Save Ferris
I'm not dead yet.
Fear the turtle.
Sweet dreams are made of cheese.
That's four shirts this week. Count 'em - four! Considering today is Thursday, the Turkey has had a dedicated pop culture T every day this week. This is definitely a statement. Fashion or otherwise.

Last night there was a request made for some etail t-shirt shopping. We surfed over to the favored T site Snorgtees.com and spent way too much time browsing. Like the thesaurus here, most of their offerings are witty and wonderful. The Snorg folks obviously have terrific senses of humor laced with ample sarcasm. "Weapons of math destruction" is a perfect example. "Don't drink and derive" is awesome for the calculus nerds who imbibe way too much coca-cola on Saturday nights. And then there's "I'd like to double your entendre." Or the Mount Rushmore presidents singing "We will, we will, rock you!" Oh, giggle fests abound!

Head on over to Snorgtees and let us know which sentiment fits you to a T.

Big thinks

Conversation is flowing freely. Mom and teenager are having a great discussion about school, homework, grades, college brochures littering the mailbox, the usual. Mom stumbles on a thought that needs to be thoroughly thought out before being verbalized. Conversation halts. Teenager breaks the silence: "OK. This is scaring me."

"Why?"

"Because usually when you think like that it's a bad sign."

"How did you know I was thinking about something?"

"Because you think VERY loudly."

Insert Scooby Doo-ish "rhuh?" here. Loud thoughts? Hmmm. I had no clue the ol' brain made so much noise. Is this a problem? Do big thinks make a louder sound than smaller thinks? Is there a WD40 for thoughts? Me thinks I need to find some.

The snow lottery

It wasn't the Mega Millions, but we did win the snow lottery. A few inches and a day off of school/work. Yep. Today definitely qualifies as a winner!

Time to shovel ...

The million dollar fantasy

$171,000,000

That's right -- the lottery is up to one hundred and seventy one million smackers. Needless to say, I bought a lottery ticket last night. No. I bought FIVE lottery tickets last night! Wouldn't it be fun to start a blog about winning the lottery? ;-)

Just shoot me

Drew came home from December's camping trip with a rifle shooting merit badge. It wasn't until last week that I saw this picture, though. It makes me laugh and cringe at the same time. I showed it to a few folks and this is what they've said:

A mom: Oh, the poor dears! It's obviously too cold to be outside. Look at his little nose! Get these boys inside and warm!

A former boy scout: When I was in scouts and we were at the rifle range ... (he then talked for 10 minutes. I don't remember much of the one-sided conversation except that it had to do with squirrels.)

A fundraiser: Why don't they go to the indoor shooting range? Do you need some ideas for raising money?

A teenage boy: Lock and load!

Another mom: You LET him do this?

Yet another mom: This is why they don't take moms on their camping trips.

A 30-year-old single man: BLEEP! (This comment is not fit for the genteel blogosphere.)

Scholarship Dude: YIKES! Children with rifles?!?!

So I'm still laughing and cringing.

Homage to fromage

For reasons that would take a book to explain, my diet no longer includes cheese or coffee. Omitting them was a cold turkey move on December 26th. That is 55 days, 79,200 minutes, 1320 hours, or 4,752,000 seconds depending on how you look at it. But really, who's counting? (Forgot one - 7.8 weeks.) My beloved java and fromage. Sigh. Oh, how I miss them. And if my wonderful, loving, caring, generous child (cough!) keeps pointing them out in the grocery store, holding them up and talking about the sale prices, posing with them, using the words "cheese" and "coffee" like frisbees in the wind ... welllllll ... I see your "cheese," dear turkey, and raise you one "frappuccino!" Ha! To which he counters with "lonely nursing home." Damn.

Easy shmeasy, red velvet peasy

It's a miracle! I tried a new recipe and not only did it turn out, the end result looks uncannily like the original photo!

See, there is this awesome post over on Bakerella where she made a heart-shaped box of chocolates for Valentine's Day but the box is really a fondant covered cake and the "chocolates" are petit four-like creations that look exact-o-mundo-ly like the real thing. It is quite an amazing work of art. Had me fooled. I mean, it looks so perfect! Who would want to eat it?!

I was so impressed with this box of chocolates masquerading as a cake (and am still shaking my head in disbelief) that my fingers started doing the walking through the rest of Bakerella's blog. And there, right before my very eyes, did the Easy and Easier Valentine's Treats appear. They looked scrumptious and the recipe sounded easy. A box of red velvet cake mix suddenly appeared in my grocery cart, and - voila! - we were embarking on the journey to see what these critters would taste/look like outside of the blogosphere. The final verdict:


YUM! They were quickly scarfed at the office party on Friday with barely a crumb remaining, so of course I had to make another batch this weekend. They are still yummy. Still easy. Still a huge hit. Still look like the original picture. It's a miracle!

(Note: if you catch my doctor reading this, please tell her I did NOT eat these gems. No cocoa or chocolate here. Nuh uh. Pinky promise! Well ... maybe a tiny taste for quality assurance ...)

Love you, too

Today is Valentine's Day. It is a most appropriate time to introduce you to a family phenomenon known affectionately as "momisms." We love these little critters, yes, we do. They surprise us, make us laugh, creep in to conversations at the most inopportune moments much like a preschooler, and contribute to the emotional intimacy of our everyday family life. Yes, love abounds for momisms.

Huh? "What's a momism," you ask? Ah. A momism is when yours truly (ie, mom) is thinking too fast and the words come out shmushed together. This is not just talking too fast (another habit), but actually combining words unintentionally. Here are the Turkey's favorites from the momism dictionary:

flow snurries = snow flurries
shopway = term for a jaunt to the grocery store, either Shoppers or Safeway

Momisms are the frequent cause of giggles and guffaws. We were driving home the other night and one such instance induced peals of laughter that rolled in to the gasping-for-breath-with-tears-streaming-down-the-cheeks-can't-talk-so-hafta-snort snorts. (Your first clue should have been that we were in the car.) What made this particular instance so lovingly special was not the actual momism, though. No. It was the hand motions demonstrating the shmushing of words that ignited the laughter fireworks. It went something like this: *left hand*, *right hand*, *clap*! (Ooo. Not as funny in print. Guess you had to be there. Drew does a great impression, though, so please feel free to ask him to demonstrate.)

Anywho ... I am often and lovingly reminded of momisms and of the momism clap. Oh, how we love momisms! And if the frequency of momisms is any indication, love abounds. Happy Valentine's Day!

Email

News flash! It is no longer necessary to use the mute monks, smoke signals, telepathy, maritime signal flags or Morse code to contact this blogger. If emailing is your preferred mode of communication, if you want a reply, if you are part of the 0.42% of readers not already on my contacts list, or if you just need another email address for yours truly, use this for communication:

pinkturkey (at) ymail (dot) com

After 10 months of blogging it's about time for an appropriately branded blogger email, doncha think?! So get busy! Send an email or two. Let me know your thoughts, ideas, likes, links to other super cool blogs, how you found the pinkturkey, what you're making for dinner, cash ... you get the idea. But if you still really want to use maritime signal flags:

Hallelujah!

There was an instance at the office today where we yet again learned that communication can be tricky. Both too much and too little communication can cause problems. So I pulled up this quirky video to remind us that even the mute monks find ways to communicate effectively. Sometimes we just need to think outside of the cue cards. Amen.

(Note: the first 1:30 of the video - the star warsesque text - is in the overcommunication category. Feel free to scroll through it. You won't miss much. I promise!)

Blogger's Block

Um.
Hell-looo out there?
What to write about?
Help!
There's some serious blogger's block happening.
Is there a blogger doc in the house?

Sigh. I'm having difficulty finding things that are appropriate for pink turkey and the blogosphere right now. We are still laughing but our days are filled with the trivial right now. It's the annual post-holiday lull where we're hunkered down in a warm house, the turkey is concentrating on his classes and homework, the calculus club is still meeting every Saturday night, work is work, I just had new tires put on the car (pure excitement, lemme tell ya!), my job as a chauffeur for a teenager is picking up (thus the new tires), Top Chef is Wednesday's entertainment, and you really don't have to the enter the HGTV Dream House giveaway because I'm destined to finally win it this year. I wouldn't necessarily call this a boring time in our lives, but let's just say we're flying on auto pilot for a while. No turbulance is a good thing! Sometimes I just have to remind myself of this.

Good morning. This is your captain speaking. Today's flight to Bloggerville and back looks very smooth. Flight attendants will be taking beverage orders and serving food shortly. I am turning off the fasten seat belt sign (*ding!*) and you are free to move about the cabin. Personal electronic devices are permitted. I will check in with you as soon as we have more instructions from ground. Thank you for flying Blogger Airways. Enjoy your flight!

Drew's theme song

There is a song that describes Drew to a T. "White and Nerdy" has become his officially unoffical theme song. Unfortunately I can't post it on the blog, but you can click here for the full-length video. Enjoy!

Busted!

On school mornings we are out the door at 6:35 a.m. and head north. We pick up two other 9th grade boys, avoid the trucks on I-97, snake our way through suburbia, pray we don't get stuck behind a [smelly] yellow submarine known as a school bus, comment on the parking lot antics of high schoolers, and finally inch our way to the front of the school where the boys can get out. Other than the 6:35 a.m. duty call, I have thoroughly enjoyed being the morning carpool mom. Here's why: I have learned so much.

This morning I learned that my wonderful, bright, intelligent, sarcastic, loving child has a menu of responses for our afternoon chats. So when we talk at 3 p.m. and I ask "how much homework do you have?" he goes to his mental menu:
a) not much
b) none
c) tons but I really want to play video games so I'm telling her a or b

Similarly, answers to "how are you?" are just as broad:
a) fine
b) hungry
c) ok

Not only did he admit to rarely deviating from his pat monosyllabic answers, he also told his carpool buddies that his mom (that would be me, yours truly) will keep talking no matter what he says, so he purposely doesn't say much. BUSTED! All this time I thought I was asking open-ended questions and that Drew's dislike of talking on the phone was just keeping his answers short. Nope. Wellllllll...the dork is in for a bevvy of new questions this afternoon, much more than the "how was your day?" or "what did you learn?" I just have to figure out what they are. Better yet, maybe I'll quit talking altogether and see what happens. Hee hee!

Whew! We made it.

Welcome to 2009! I'm usually not a big fan of the new year's celebration - honestly, why not celebrate EVERY first of the month? or celebrate EVERY Monday? - but this year is a little different. 2008 was a roller coaster. The days were often filled with knuckle whitening changes in direction, life went whizzing by at exorbitant speeds, there were moments of pure joy, sparks where one felt like they were floating weightless, vertigo inducing heights and drops, and moments where it felt like the car was careening off the tracks. It was definitely not a controlled ride.

Now that we have arrived safely in a new year (thank you to the engineer who properly installed the seat belts and roll bars!), I feel the need to celebrate. It's not a dancing-in-the-streets celebration like when one's sports team wins a title, but more of a "whew, thank goodness THAT's over," and get your land legs back before buying a soda and waiting in line for the magic tea cups. No resolutions. No parties. Just a big sigh, a hug to those waiting for you at the end of the ride, some sustenance for the body, review the pictures (yep, mouth was open yet again), and get in line for the next ride.

So here we are in the new hours of 2009 and waiting for the magic tea cups. After this it's off to the animal park. Will we see you there?