The following is a missing persons report:
Name: Drew (also goes by Turkey)
Height: taller than me
Weight: skinny minny
Eyes: Yes
Hair: Yes
Last seen: some time in September
He's been abducted by aliens! Maybe those aliens are more commonly known as hormones, but the kid has obviously been abducted. The child that looks suspiciously like my kid is scatterbrained (forgot his keys for the second day in a row today), amazingly disorganized (can't find the permission slips I signed last night), loses his lunch money (or maybe he spends it on new pencils becuase he loses those as well), can't remember what he's supposed to do from one moment to the next, never charges his cell phone so it's dead when he really does need it, and oh those eating spells! Seriously. This can't be my kid. The humor is still in tact but I swear the rest of him was abducted.
If seen, please feed the child a large cheese pizza (don't worry - you won't have many leftovers) before returning home.
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