Timmy's limericks

Ladies and gentlemen, turkey of all ages, please give a big pink turkey welcome to our guest blogger, Timmy*. Say it with me - Hi Timmy! :)

Timmy (not his real name but we've got to protect the not-so-innocent) works with me and penned some limericks during a meeting when he was supposed to be doing something else. (Shh! Don't tell anyone.) During the ensuing laugh fest Missy* double dog dared me to let Timmy be a guest blogger and post the following:

I know a woman named Jess
Special events she does best
Salmon or turkey,
Egg rolls or jerky,
Go ahead, make your request.

There's a girl who really likes pink,
So much so, I started to think,
If the sky was more ruddy,
And rivers less muddy,
The world would be in less of a stink.

My colleague's name is Jess Crazy*,
Her hair's a bit curly and wavy.
Her smile's so contagious,
Her humor - so outrageous,
She could take over the Navy!

Thank you, Timmy, for those kind words. To all of you thinking I paid Timmy to say this, please know that he was soooo bored during the meeting that he would have written limericks for just about anybody! Thanks - I think - for guest blogging. Come back again real soon now, ya hear?!

* Not their real name. Not really, anyway.

Hooray for Tuesday!

Tuesdays are my favorite days of the week. Not Friday. Not Saturday. Definitely NOT Monday. Tuesday, yes, Tuesday is my favorite. Why, you ask? Tuesday is the day iTunes posts new songs! (Also known as the Day the Music Junkie Gets Her Fix, but 'Tuesday' is easier to enunciate so let's just go with that.)

After pouring a cup o' java this morning, I hurriedly surfed over to iTunes and was dee-lighted with what was there. Squeal! Oh, it is glorious. It is wonderful. It is Christmas personified. It's the Straight No Chaser holiday album!

Straight No Chaser, the YouTube sensation and IU a capella group, was signed by Atlantic Records and today, Tuesday, was the release of their holiday album. Hooray! You can find the album, Holiday Spirits, on iTunes or amazon or anywhere else fine holiday music is sold. Look for their rendition of the 12 days to appear on our Christmas playlist, too. In the meantime, here's the original YouTube video for immediate enjoyment and giggles:

It's the great pumpkin

We were at the farm stand today. The pumpkins and gourds were picked over but that's just the way I like them. What's left are the "Charlie Brown trees" of pumpkins. They aren't quite perfect, and that imperfection gives them tons o' character. Just check out these vine ripened gourds. Doesn't the stem on the green one look like a dragon? Look closely. (Tilting your head slightly to the left helps a little, too.) The dragon's head is basking in the sunlight, ears sticking out, tongue flicking like it is getting ready to blacken the gourd underneath it. What? You still don't see it? Hmm. Try a glass of wine.

The green gourds above were teensy in comparison to what we found on a lonely palate on the edge of the property. The sign said these orange doozies were between 12 and 25 pounds each. They were obviously on the waiting list to see the dermatologist. Just look at those zits!



Hiding on the back of the palate of pumpkins was this one that looked like a pear who had too many carrots and needed to cut back on the steroids!



I so love the "Charlie Brown tree" character of these pumpkins. They don't sit up by themselves, they are covered with bumps and lumps, and have been passed over by thousands of eager kids looking for The Perfect Pumpkin. We gave them some love for a while, talked with them, turned them over and tilted them this-a-way and that-a-way as we looked for our carveables. It took some time but we found two large pumpkins to come home with us. You'll be happy to know they have loads of character!

We also bought a bag of apples, sweet potatoes, broccoli and onions, but those aren't quite as fun as the pumpkins. (Unless you make bourbon mashed sweet potatoes like I did tonight and then they are SUPER fun!) Hallo-boo-ween is just 4 days away and then we'll reveal our pumpkins and the annual trick-or-treating decor. Stay tuned! Until then, go check out the characters hanging around at your local farm stand or pumpkin patch. They'll love you for it.

Round objects

Drew's physics class is mostly boys. 14-year-old boys no less, so you can imagine the rowdiness and crude comments. It only took 5 weeks before Mr. Physics Teacher banned them from using the word "balls." In describing round objects that would previously be known as balls, the kids must now refer to such objects as "spheres." A super smart move for Mr. Physics Teacher.

This new terminology has crept in to our personal lexicon. The other night we had spaghetti and meat spheres for dinner. Not just any meat sphere, mind you. Nope. They were TURKEY meat spheres!

Lordy, lordy!

So we're in the car, the location of many great conversations, and start talking about H. Yep. That's the letter H. Specifically, as the letter H appears in Jesus H. Christ. Right. "Mom, what does the H in Jesus H. Christ stand for?" The question was asked and, as any good parent would do, I pounced on the opportunity for a teaching moment.

Uh. Yeah. Cough. Little white lie alert. Let me clarify ... the question was asked and I first used it as a spring board to Teenager Conversation and THEN to the teaching opportunity. It went something like this ...

What does the H stand for? Let's brainstorm possibilities. Hugo? Herbert? Hunter? Humperdink was a popular answer, and the suggestion of Heffner brought on peals of laughter. Humphrey? Hoyt? Hiram? Huckleberry? Harry? Humdinger? Heaven? The list went on.

Forget the etymological answer for just a sec -- which is the Greek IHS (ding! teaching moment) -- and meander back to Heffner because there are still uncontrollable giggles. Just picture it: Jesus Heffner Christ. Oh my. Do you see it? Picture the two men - Jesus Christ and Hugh Heffner. Did you catch the similarity? Right. They both walk around in ROBES! And picture the girls next door as apostles! LOL!

Lordy! We both laughed so hard we cried. The good news is that instead of uttering "Jesus H. Christ" on occasion, now the turkey mutters "Heffner!"

Oy vey!

Hypothetically speaking

Help! Here's what the turkey asked last night. How does one respond?

"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

Chicks with brains

Remember Turkey the Younger's comment about nerds last week? That non-nerds will bring him down in nerddom? Well, I let some time pass and then just to be certain I was understanding the Pecking Order of Nerds I broached the subject of girls. Do female friends get held to the same standards? Can a girl be "hot" AND a nerd? Is it possible to date a girl from outside nerddom? Or does a "hot" girl also drop you down a peg? Does the "hotness" scale trump the nerd scale? What are the DQ's with girls? I obviously had a lot of questions, but the answer was singular:

"Well, she has to have brains."

Right on! My inward excitement starts to build. There might actually be a teenage boy who looks to brains before beauty. Then it hits ...

"Like I need to be able to discuss quantum or theoretical physics with her. She has to be able to keep up. The nerd part is optional."

Gulp. Did he just imply that girls weren't as smart because they had to "keep up?" I can't discuss quantum physics so does that mean he's moving out? Inward excitement has officially deflated. I still don't know if "hot" trumps nerd, but I DO know it's time to brush up on quantum physics.

Wildlife?

It was a gorgeous day in the neighboorhood today. Blue sky, about 72 degrees, slight breeze, leaves are just starting to turn, nothing on the agenda until the evening, so we made plans to leave the coop for a while. We spent a couple hours checking out other nests, burrows, dens ... ok, we were LOOKING for nests, burrows and dens, but to no avail. It was a fun trek none-the-less. Especially with the made-up songs! (Look for them in a future post.)



Now we're off for another adventure -- calculus club!

Favorite fall happening

Each fall I look forward to the crispness in the air, leaves changing, digging out the sweaters, getting cozy, warm beverages, all things pumpkin, school being in full swing ... you get the idea. There is one aspect of fall that I look forward to more than most, though, and today I'm giddy with excitement to see it has occurred. Giddy, gleeful, excited, happy, and just downright peachy keen. Yes, my friends, today iTunes has "holiday" listed as a searchable genre again! Woo hoo! Not only is holiday appearing in the searchable genre menu, there are even new releases to peruse. YIPPEE! This is truly the most wonderful time of the year! (glee. glee. more glee!)

So with another audible "woo hoo!" for good measure, this holiday tunes addict is off to check out the newest Christmas albums. Toodles!

(Sorry for the overdose of exclamation points but I'm just so excited!)

A rich pedicure

Managing the budget in this current economic climate calls for creativity: Netflix and Pop Secret instead of trips to the movie theater, skipping Amazon and utilizing the library for book cravings, honing cooking skills in lieu of critiquing local chefs, taking time to hand wash instead of dry cleaning, judicious driving, packing lunches, adjusting the thermostat, and self-styled manicures and pedicures. Those are just a few examples of creative dollar stretching we are employing. I'm certain you have a list, too.

In completing the latest home pedi, waiting impatiently for the polish to dry enough before jumping back in to the fast lane, my eyes were drawn to a framed quote propped on the shelf:


Rich is not how much you have, or where you are going, or even what you are; Rich is who you have beside you.

As we all make adjustments to cope with a new economic reality, the beauty of this simple quote rings true. Life is rich ... freshly lacquered toes and all.

Yes, that's my frog prince and knight in shining armor in the photo. :-)

Pecking order

After Turkey The Younger's last calculus club (yes, that would be calculus for FUN) I inquired as to the whereabouts of Friend Z. "Is Z in calculus club?" "No, he doesn't do that." Let me preface the next quote with the fact that Z is part of the Group and hangs with the boys at lunch. He is a good looking young man, well spoken, polite, preppy, smart, drama free. So I asked, "Hey, why don't you invite Z over to the house some time?" You'll love the response:

"Nope. He's not nerdy enough."

Hell-lo? So the turkey can only hang out with nerdy friends? Affirmative. A non-nerd will apparently bring him down on the nerd social scale. It's no longer about social climbing, it's about maintaining and exceeding social status within nerddom. A pecking order for nerds. Who knew?